Wednesday, September 17, 2014

queen of procrastination

Wow...this blog is pretty dusty. It's definitely neglected and I totally blame a virus on my shitty laptop and also facebook. Why take the time to punch out a long blog on my little iphone screen when I can interact with people on facebook? Every time I booted up my laptop, I wanted to throw it though the wall because it's so slow and glitchy. I basically put it in a drawer for two years and survived with just my phone and ipad for everything.

This fall I went back to college. I never graduated in my twenties because oops I got pregnant and wanted to be a stay at home Mom. This surprise blessing I speak of is 12 years old now and in 7th grade. We were sitting at the table doing homework together and she asked me, "Mommy why are you going to college now? Why didnt you graduate when Daddy did?"  Uhhhhmmmmmm, well I uh. Ahem. The real answer is that i got pregnant in college with her, but she still hasn't figured out that I was a pregnant bride and I'd like to keep it that way. My answer was still true...that I wanted to focus on being a Mom, but I didn't go into the details that I was obsessed with my new baby and was so gobsmacked that I made raising my babies my only goal.

Well, I've done it. I am so happy that I raised my babies...but they aren't babies anymore. Last year when the kids were in school, I spent way too much time waiting for them to come home. As summer was ending this year, I felt a heavy weight that they were all going to be in school in a few weeks and I was going to be alone with no idea what to do with myself. I was talking to a friend and she said that she was looking into going back to get her degree. Then it hit me that this was exactly what I needed to do and this was exactly the perfect time to do it.

I want to be a nurse. I have a few prerequisites to complete before I can apply for nursing school, so I am working on that now. One class is compositionzzzzzzzzzzzzz, and the other is Human Anatomy and Physiology. I know it's only 7 credit hours and I could try and I could cram in another class. I must get A's absolutely must get A's to have a chance of acceptance into nursing school. I would rather go slow and take it easy over the next two semesters and have a flawless application, than rush to apply and risk ruining up my grades because I'm overwhelmed. I do still have 3 needy people...sports schedules, tutoring, concerts, etc and so far two classes is just enough for me to not feel like I'm drowning.

Whoa long tangent...I mean to just say that I needed to fix my laptop so i could participate in my online class and submit my papers. One day I fired up the beast, and with the help of a 13 year old boy on youtube, my laptop is now virus free. Yes seriously. I love the internet.

I'm actually supposed to be writing my personal narrative but because I'm a procrastinator, I came to check on the old blog instead. I was about to start freewriting for my paper about my summer vacation (hey all my kids are writing their personal narratives about summer vacation...I'm sure my composition professor will love the 35 year old version!). For our trip, I went with the huz and the kids back 'home' to Arizona and we got stuck there for an extra 10 days. It was the best series of unfortunate events because I got a chance to really slow down and enjoy beautiful magical Arizona. I miss "home" and all of my family so much that it hurts. Jeff and I have talked a lot about it and it's not realistic right now. I will settle for buying an acre of land in Northern AZ by my Moms cabin so that I know someday we will go back.

Whew okay that's all I've got. Gotta write my paper now. :D

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

The big dig and gunite

Last week after a deluge of big Texas spring storms, we had a huge excavator show up at 6:30 in the morning. Because of the huge amount of rain Houston has just received, the bobcat earth mover thing sat parked in the backyard until the project manager could find a dump sit that would accept our fill dirt. Finally at 10am the workers got started. 13 truckloads of dirt later and our yard has been transformed. Within two days, we had crews out to rebar the interior of the pool and another crew out to spray the gunite shell.

The guys did an impeccable job with everything but it hasn't been perfect. For one thing...the pool isn't deep enough. Seriously? I'm over 6 feet tall and I wanted the pool to be 6 1/2 feet deep. It's only 6 feet deep. The pool company offered to dig it deeper but it was after the rebar was laid and on the same morning that the gunite guys were starting arrive. Le sigh. I could have thrown a fit and stalled construction but I decided to let it go. I decided that if that was my big problem in life, then I don't have a problem. I also have an ulterior motive...I want the pool done by June 6th for a last day of school party!

Now we wait. I have to water the gunite a few times per day but they will be starting on tile and coping soon. I can't wait to see all my choices come together.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Diggy diggy hole!

After weeks of impatiently waiting for the HOA to approve our pool, we finally got our letter in the mail yesterday! The big dig is scheduled for Thursday May 2nd! :) Here is our "before" picture. Can I get a woot woot?

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Summertime is near!

I am a sun worshipping girl from the desert. Born and raised in Arizona for the first 23 years of my life until Jeff's job took our little family to Illinois. I made a soul sister type friend, and gave birth to a beautiful blonde boy but other than that? It sucked ass. I don't like cold weather and being in a tiny farming town in the middle of nowhere was very strange. I honestly remember thinking, "I can't wait until my life isn't on pause anymore!"

Thankfully Jeff took me seriously when I told him to get me outbid that God forsaken town. He found a job in South Texas and I was thrilled! Hot weather! Desert plants! Mountains! Good Mexican food! Okay I was a little disappointed because as my plane was taking its final descent, the landscape was disturbingly green. There were no mountains. I guess i was confusing south Texas fir west Texas. oopsie! The weather was temperate though and I went through a Mexican food drive thru that wasn't Taco Bell. Muy bueno!

We bought a great lil house in the best neighborhood. It came with built in friends for me. My little babies grew up and we added baby Griffin. Well all those babies keep growing and now we have a 10 year old, 8 year old and a 3 year old. Suddenly it feels like we are busting at the seams.

There is no room for shoes (average 3 pairs of shoes for 5 people...that's 15 pairs or 30 damn individual shoes scattered around at any particular moment. I need a mudroom. Well I did the best I could and hung some hooks in the dining room. No office to file bills or tax forms, no room for a desk for the kids to do homework. The list goes on and on.

We house hunted for awhile and we saw some amazing beautiful big and brilliantly laid out homes that I could see myself in. However, my friends don't live next to those houses. These houses had pools and outdoor kitchens for entertaining during the long hot summer. But my kids wouldn't have friends knocking at 9:00am on a summer morning. We decided to stay. Make this house work. We have no family here and my friends are the only people who care about me and my family. That's priceless.

The point of this post is that we are staying in this house...but WE ARE BUILDING A POOL! Holy crap I'm giddy! It's not financially smart because we will never get a return on our investment but I don't care! I'm going to have a pool! In the house that I've outgrown, but on a street that I love! Ack!

HOA approval is on Tuesday and then the excavator comes! I will be tracking progress and obsessing over every detail. Stay tuned!

Btw, the pic is an Instagram pic of my daughter protesting us chopping down her tree. I'll give more details later. :)

Wednesday, January 9, 2013


Two notes I recieved today pretty much ripped out my heart. The first was from my sweet Kimmy-girl. She's not so little anymore...10 years old with 10 year old girly problems. There is a girl in her class that has been squeezing her out of her 'group' of friends. She yells at her, tells her to mind her own business, tells her there isn't room for anyone else to play etc. My normally sturdy girl...big sister to two wild boys...wouldn't take any flack. But for some reason this girl has gotten under her skin and it really bothers Kim that she can't play with girls she was really close with at the beginning of 5th grade. We had a bed time heart to heart last night on how she could handle herself. She could stick up for herself. She could ask the girl what her problem was. She could steal her boyfriend (i kid, i kid!). She could cut her losses and focus on a really fun new group of girls. She was happy when I kissed her goodnight.

I went into her room to straighten up after the kids were all at school and she had left a note for me on her nightstand that said,

                                "For Mommy Only. (dont be mad at me)".

I wish that i would just fit in this world. Maybe there are other dimensions in the world. The world is a very strange place for me. Mean girl doesn't like me. I dont want her to be so mean to me anymore. I am a really nice girl. I dont know why she does this to me. She has put a spell on all my old friends. I'm happy she has not found my new BFF's. I don't want her to take over my life. Next time I will ignore her. 

 Jesus! Heavy stuff for a 10 year old. I totally cried when I read it. Freaks me out with her alluding to not fitting in...not just the school but in this world? I totally cried. I wanted to throat punch another 10 year old girl. How could someone be so mean to my child. I know I'm biased but she is seriously so fun.

I went and met her at school today for lunch and told her I read the letter. We talked about it and she pointed out who was who in her old group of friends. I also saw the new group of girls she was playing with. They were all talking, laughing, having fun, clamoring for Kim's attention etc. I honestly don't know how bad this is. She did write it at like 10pm and things always seem worse in the middle of the night. Nothing like the sunrise of a new day to brighten your perspective. For now I'm just going to meet with the school counselor to get advice on the best course of action. To mean girls credit...she seems like just another normal little kid. I dont think she is the debil, but maybe she doesn't know how she is affecting others with her actions. I would hope that if she knew she was keeping a person up crying at night, that she would feel bad and change. Although...not everyone is rainbows and sunshine. I'll pray for her. >;)

The second note was from my 3 year old's preschool teacher. She sent him to the directors office because he was being such a little shit-ass. My interpretation of her saying he was inconsolable and crying in the hallway. He is such a hard and naughty little boy. I'm having flash forwards of more principal visits and exasperated teachers. Why o why did I get the most difficult child on the face of the planet? Oh how can I describe my little tyrant? He is independant, very driven, smart as hell, determined, alpha, pissy, sassy, etc. Basically he is a 35lb version of my husband that is stuck with a primitive 3 year old brain. Here is an example of how a normally good quality in a human being goes wrong when you are 3:

Independant: He wipes his own ass, but since he's 3 and primitive he unrolls one long piece, wipes, then rolls the tp back up.

I just dont even know what to add to that. I dont know what to tell his teacher. How about, "Yeah, I know he's a pain in the ass. Good luck with that." I have decided though that he has been extra bad after winter break. I am doing what is referred to as, "tomato staking". He has to be glued to my hip 24/7 because I cant trust him to behave on his own. If I stake my tomatoes properly when they are young, they will grow into tall strong plants that will yield great bounties. Dear God please let that boy grow up right.

Speaking of tall and strong...Kennen is tall, strong and beautiful. My simple child of the day. Thanks you for that buddy. :D

Thursday, June 21, 2012

I'm 33?

Yup...33. I don't know why but I have big time birthday blues this year. I'm a girl that always loves a party but today I just wanted to crawl under the covers and cry. I wanted zero birthday wishes because I didnt want to be that cray girl bursting out in tears on what should be a happy day. Life is good, kids are excellent. We have been super busy with swimteam this summer. It's our first year and in all honesty my kids pretty much suck at competitive swimming. However, our team is so warm, welcoming and supportive. My kids are happy to get up every day and do it, and the coaches are the best. On top of being nice, our team is undefeated! I could have joined a different team that is closer to my house but I'm so glad I didn't. I just found out that the director at the other pool is being a huge bitch and actually kicked a family off the team. Crazy. Well I planned to put up a picture for your viewing pleasure, but blogger isn't iPad friendly. I'll plan better next time. Oh yes...there will be a next time. I'm over the time suck from hell (Facebook...not pinterest but good guess!) so I'll be blogging more. If you still read this decrepit old blog, muah!

Thursday, September 15, 2011

My ADD post. :D

Hello world,
The longer I go without blogging, the more 'behind' I feel. I feel like I can't just give a regular old post because there has been so much living going on in my family of 5 and I have so much to say. However, I'm just going to step out of that rut and start typing about what is in my mind right now.

Here goes:

My beautiful babies are all in school now! Kimberly is in 4th grade, Kennen is in 1st and baby Griffin is in 2 day a week preschool. I must admit...after our long lazy summer, our new schedule has hit our family like a Mac Truck. We aren't even that busy by most peoples standards. We just have school and each kid is in 1 sport. Should be no big deal to juggle that, but for us it's been hard. A rough adjustment. But this week things finally feel a little smoother and that we can do it.

There have been some changes. First up, I am finally admitting to myself that I have ADD. I have always known that I am a smart person, but I just don't seem to grasp things with the same intensity as other people. It's like my mental list of things to do were little butterflies that fluttered and flitted around inside my head and threatened to scatter away in the wind any second. I forget a lot of things. Paying bills. Washing clothes. Appointments. Social obligations. That when I tell someone, "I'll take care of it," that they actually expect me to (shocker) take care of it. I'm not really hyper. I mean I am kind of a spazz, but mostly my issues are that I am inattentive. I realized that, for me, three children was my tipping point and I no longer had a good enough hold on my life and responsibilities. I went to the Dr and she had me fill out a form. She sat and chatted with me for a few minutes and then wrote me a prescription for Concerta. Easy as that. I am amazed at how great I feel. I feel in control for the first time. I no longer have anxiety that I am forgetting something or that I am going to let someone down. My time management is much better. My house is cleaner. I'm not overwhelmed. I'm motivated and I just feel like I am able to be the best version of myself all the time.

The reason I first even considered it was because Kim struggled so much in 3rd grade. She was so forgetful, wouldn't finish her classwork, wouldn't turn in homework. She would forget to bring her spelling book home. She would tell me that her teacher would be talking and she noticed that other children seemed to understand what they were supposed to do the first time, but that she needed to be told again and again how to do an assignment. Her school isn't allowed to mention that she might had ADD, but they did use lots of adjectives like, 'inattentive', 'spaced out', 'not concentrating'. I was a little slow on the pick up, but I finally took the hint and had her evaluated. The child psychologist was great and tested her on not only ADD but anxiety too. In the ADD sections, she scored 90% more inattentive than other kids and in the anxiety part, he scored 97% more anxious than other kids. For now we are not medicating her. She does stress and struggle but I'm working on coping strategies to get her through each day. She came home with her progress report yesterday with 4 A's and 2 B's. Im so impressed! She is proud too. She said, "All that hard work and all those tears paid off!" <3 Love bug.

Now lets move on to Kennen. Oh my Kenny boy. He also struggled in Kindergarten but got by pretty well. He is actually academically better than Kimberly but socially awkward. He has the speech thing still so that makes it hard to have friends and stuff. He has gotten to the point that if you ask him to repeat something he will say, "Oh nevermind." I think it's a way to keep from getting teased for his speech issues. Even though he is super smart and a great reader and writer, he is slllllooooooowwwwwwww. One day, it took him 30 minutes to write, "Read for 10 minutes," in his homework calendar. His teacher says he spaces off and his folder full of incomplete classwork is building up quickly. The difference between Kim and Kennen though is that he thinks he is awesome. He is really confident and is not worried one bit about his academic performance. He is in speech at school, but he is also in speech with 3 other boys in first grade that happen to play on his football team. He loves going to speech because he gets to see his friends. In an effort to preserve his self confidence, I had him evaluated for ADD as well to be more proactive than I was with Kim. Okay, so I will be the first to admit that when it comes to Kennen I do have blinders on. I understand him on a deep level and I think I pay more attention to his intentions instead of his actions. However, in that interview with the child psychologist I noticed his oddities. Like when you ask him a direct question, he will go off on a tangent that has nothing to do with your question. When you guide him back to the question, he will contradict and talk back. He also was jumping around the office...spinning and making shooting noises and fighting imaginary bad guys. Probably normal boy stuff but well, maybe not. Basically by the end of the session, the Dr. told me that Kennen didn't even need to schedule the 2 hour formal evaluation. It was pretty clear to him that Kennen has ADD or ADHD. I don't think he is particularly hyper but the inappropriate social reactions are usually a result of having the hyperactive version of ADHD.

By the looks of things, all three of us are just a hot mess together. For example, just us getting out of the house on time is a nightmare. The kids can each only find one of their shoes, they forgot to brush their teeth, I can't find my keys, Kennen cries because he is all stressed out, Kim has wandered back upstairs to look for shoes and instead plays with her gerbil, I'm going ballistic and yelling at the kids to hurry, and in the mean time Griffin decides to poop so I have to top what I'm doing and change him. Whew, I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

I am loving my medicine but I need to decide now on whether or not to medicate my kids. I think I am going to at least try it for a month. Parenting is a funny thing...before I was a Mom I never even believed in ADHD/ADD. I thought it was poor parenting. Who knows, maybe I am a crappy Mom and I've taught my kids my bad habits. Oh well though...all I can do now is try to give my babies the best tool to succeed and get past my guilt. Guilt only weighs me down.